1st of all I'd like to thank all those who contacted me last month about the previous post. Your feedback is always appreciated.
Today I will write about commitment. Not relationships commitment but your commitment towards yourself and the goals and objectives your want to achieve in your life. Let me start this by asking you to pause for a second and think of that one major accomplishment in your life that has really made you proud of yourself. It can be anything, a graduation, an accomplishment, a promotion, a job that you really fought for. Maybe winning a championship, a relationship related goal or anything else. Just that one big event that made you so happy and proud of yourself.
Now, try to recall all those happy feelings you felt when you reached that point of success. Remember how awesome it felt at that time, who was there around you, what voices did you hear, how proud did you feel. Try to recall as many details as you can.. It must be awesome!
Now, remind yourself how much effort and energy did you put into that goal. Your passion, focus and drive to deliver what you wanted to deliver. How many blockers did you have to overcome? Well that's exactly what we call The Power of Commitment.
Have you ever wondered why there are some people who keep on succeeding while others have great ideas but nothing happens with them at the end?
Do you know people who say they will do something and then put it completely off repeatedly?
Have you been lost? Distracted by so many things in your life that you aren't able to achieve any new goals?
Are you making too many commitments that are actually draining and stressing you out?
Do you know what does this reveal about you?
Here's the answer: It tells others that you are not trustworthy and cannot be counted on. It indicates that you are unlikely to succeed at whatever you say you want or will do. Fact is; you tend not to focus on what is important to you, whatever comes your way takes away your attention.
This maybe harsh but it is true. This could be one of your habits, at least now you will know the consequences, both in your relationships and your professional life.
In fact we all fall into this trap every now and then, but I'm sure you would like to be one of those who realizes that they are getting drifted and take back the steer to turn things around.
So, how can you be more committed?
1. Say-Do Principle:
If you want to have long-term credibility with others then you should apply this principle. Only say you will do somethingif you are sure that you are going to do it. Some people are so nice to others that they can never say no. Well, this is an extreme pressure. Hold your breath and count to 10 before you say that you will do it. Do not just commit .
If you Say I will and then you don't consistently, no one will trust you. When you commit, you're expected to deliver. So do WALK the TALK.
2. Know where to place your attention:
Many of the clients that I coach come to me complaining about how tough and stressful their life is. In less than 5 minutes I can clearly see that they are overwhelming themselves by being distracted with zillion things. They complain about work environment, then marriage, then move to the kids, traffic, the economy, private business? and the list can go on and on.
Imagine you are stuck in a room trying escape. You have a set of tools and your only way out is to dig a hole.
You are running all around scattered between all 4 walls striking one hit here and one there. You will end up with a messy room with scratches and tiny holes everywhere but there's no hope for you to get to make that one hole that will get you where you out.
You need to have full focus to put your all your energy into one place to make your way out.
So in your life, where are you putting all your focus? On which priority are you going to place your full attention? Into Self, Family, Relationship?, or Work and career? Financials? Social life?.... You need to make choices.
When you are focused on options, alternatives and possibilities you will have struggles completing commitments. We call this the Options Pattern. These folks who are scattered between too many things tend to be very creative but often do not follow through on what they say they are going to do.
To improve your ability to follow through and actually do what you committed to doing, get yourself into a more procedure mode. And easy way to do this is to schedule WHEN you will do the steps needed to fulfill your commitment right in your calendar. And be a slave to your calendar. Not really a slave! but this is Commitment.. :)
3. Know when to raise the flag:
Surprises are expected. We should never expect that everything will go just the way we planned it. There will always be things coming your way, sometimes they will be controllable and some other times you will not be able to do anything about them, so you need to maneuver and find your way.
If you are about to miss a deadline or you are about to fail to fulfill your promise, communicate with those who you committed to. Engage with them and make them aware of the situation. Beware of making excuses. Make sure your message is clear, you are facing some obstacles yet you are still committed and willing to deliver your promise. So make sure that you align and agree to a new deadline as soon as possible. This will earn you much more respect and trust from all those whom you care about.
If you still suck at doing what you said you were going to do, then you still have few options:
1. If its a simple task that you feel comfortable not doing then hire someone and give them the task. I do this sometimes when there are small task standing my way or when I have too much on my plate. I actually hire a freelancer on www.freelance.com
2. If you commitment is to spend time with your partner or the kids then definitely delegating this task isn't going to work! It might actually lead to undesired outcomes :). So these are things your need to own!
3. finally you can always seek support from close friends & family members who can mentor you or by hiring a coach who can help you define your goals and making you comfortably accountable and committed to deliver.
Finally, When you say the things you will actually do, suddenly you will feel that you have a new strength. You will realize that others will trust you and treat you with more respect.
When you are a highly committed person, you will get the things you want from life because you went all in and put enough effort to get what you need. You have actually walked the talk to get rewarded!